Hi. I say it every single time.... "I never blog... sorry." I feel like I am such an open book and that so many of you turn into family and friends anyways, you guys already know what's going on with me, so do I really need a blog?
However, I haven't been posting as much on my page lately, particularly in the past 2 months, and especially since my *fabulous* vacation. I feel like I should tell you guys what's going on and maybe why.
Why haven't I been as vocal on my page? Life. Life has happened and smacked us (me and my hubby and my immediate family) right in the face. Right on the bridge of your nose, right between the eyes where you can't help but pour tears like a leaky freakin faucet.
Almost two months ago, my husband lost a close friend. Any friend of my husband's, is naturally a friend of mine. That's how things work with us. I knew him, I knew his kids, I loved him and I loved his kids.... Life came to a halt when Joe passed. It was a sudden tragic accident and he left behind the nicest group of friends and family. We were somewhat new to this group, but everyone treated us like family, because that's how things work with Joe and his. With Joe's passing came a realization. He made everyone he knew a better person. He made my husband a better husband and a better friend and he made me realize that maybe I don't need to stay in my office and work all night every night while he is in the other room. I have started to make more time for my personal life and the people I care about. I still care about and love my job... but I love my husband more.
Two weeks ago today my family decided that it is time for my dad, who has been battling Alzheimer's for 4 years, to go live in a nursing home. My mom has been his sole caretaker and it has just gotten too hard. He's started getting combative, falling, and wandering off. If you ever have had the pleasure of knowing my dad (especially pre-Alz) you know that he is sweet, athletic, strong, and wouldn't dream of leaving us.
Dreading the day since the decision, yesterday was moving day. I haven't been myself and neither has my family. This has definitely made us stronger as a whole and closer as we make decisions together, but right now it is just not easy. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. My heart just feels broken.
It will be taking longer for me to respond to emails, texts, phone calls, as I have already noticed a difference. It will also take more time for me to get your photos back to you. I plan to visit him every day. He still knows who I am, and still has a little twinkle in his eye and I want to scoop as much of that up as I can because I know it is going to be not very long at all before that changes.
I have been told to stop apologizing on my page by a person I admire, love, and has been a supporter since before day one. With that in mind, I am not apologizing. I actually refuse to apologize for this one. (I'm sort of an over-apologizer and tend to apologize even when it's not necessary.) I am going to still be a full time photographer as long as you guys will allow me, but I also want to be a full time wife, daughter, Aunt Kiki, sister, puppy mommy and friend to the people who matter to me the most. If I don't have them, I am nothing.
A lot of you have already been super supportive and for that, I am eternally grateful. You have no idea what that means to my family and I. Let's celebrate on Saturday with the Walk to End Alzheimer's.